Popular Posts

Saturday, 20 October 2012


The affectionate nicknames I received from the little people that I live with includes the devastating title Jar Jar Binks (the clumsy Star Wars alien).

It was well earned. I have a bruise the size of a twenty cent coin on my shoulder from running into a door frame. I am the victim of countless inanimate object attacks. The first kitchen item to be dropped and smashed in this house was a glass filled with water that I somehow knocked over from about a metre away by waving my hand slightly.

Yesterday, I was shooting a zombie scene for a student film in a kitchenwares store (they were a really accommodating store and deserve a box of chocolates). I had make-up and cloudy eyes that made me a driving hazard, and I was gurgling my spit in my throat to get into character, even though no sound was being recorded. I started limiting my thoughts to "brains, brains, brains, br..."

The first AD gave us some facetious directions. He jokingly told us to be more aggressive in our attack of the hapless protagonist. My acting instincts kicked in and I gave it a go, before I even knew what I was doing, I was swiping at the actor, growling and thinking, "Eat brains, get in the head, eat brains, eat brains, eat..." when out of nowhere, a cookbook flew off the shelf and landed on the floor with a thud.

Was that me?

Yes. Yes, it was me. I had swiped the book off the display shelf and everyone froze in disbelief at my stupidity and then groaned. I picked up the book, inspected it and then held it up triumphantly declaring, "Look, it's not at all damaged."

"Moron," came the reply from the shop owner.

Oh, how we laughed (and I died a little inside).

We all recovered quickly and finished the very well organised and stylish looking shoot.

This morning, one of the younglings (a very talented young actress) decided to show me how she can shoot me with a bow and arrow in the throat. As she pulled the imaginary arrow out of her hypothetical quiver her elbow went back and knocked over one or two ornaments on top of a bookshelf that she was standing in front of. I giggled. Then I shared the above story in communion with the young actor.

It's nice to know that accidents like these are just the natural consequence of having committed and enthusiastic actors on set. I am working on my spatial awareness but I prize my imagination and commitment over my ability to not disturb things. I don't ever want to be responsible for damaging equipment, that would be heartbreaking, but I more often get away with my enthusiasm than not.

I hope you'll still hire me! 

No comments:

Post a Comment